This week is finals .. although I have a full schedule, only one of them seem to be pretty hard .. I'm excited to move past this semester. I feel like there are so many things I want to do and accomplish in this next semester, but I'm just waiting for time .. Why don't I do them now? I honestly can't tell you .. I'm just used to waiting, and even though I hate it, that's life I guess?

Sometimes I feel like I'm so focused on other people and finding someone that makes me happy .. I need to start focusing on what makes me happy and who I am before I focus on someone else .. That has always been my problem though, even growing up, and I don't know how to see it another way .. I'm wanting this change, it's just figuring out how to make it happen ..

Growing up, I used to ALWAYS keep journals and write stuff down. It seemed to help me get through the hard times. But these last 2 or 3 years seem to have been the hardest, or at least most radical or strange, and I can't bring myself to write a page anymore. Maybe it's all the stuff required for school? Who knows ..

Instead of focusing on the problems in my day, I guess I should try and see the positives of everything, even though I'll slip up. I was recently hired as an RA at the college I just transfered to. The college is in the town I grew up in, and is only ten minutes away from my house. I don't like living at home, but wanted to save money. I am excited to live on campus and meet a lot of new people, but I am nervous and have my reservations. I hope this is the right decision.

I guess I'm at a point where I'm trying to figure out where life is taking me and what my purpose is. I don't know if anyone ever truly figures that out, but I see to do my best to try. I would love to know how to just enjoy life and be happy, rather than worry and anticipate my next move or what will happen. I'm scared that will never happen, but I'm trying to put my faith in God and my faith that'll it'll all work out. Life seems like we're constantly waiting for something to happen .. waiting to meet that special person .. waiting to get the right job .. waiting to have a family .. waiting to be happy .. when do we know when it's time to stop worrying and start living? How do we do that?