livin' on a prayer

things have been getting a lot better .. not that much as changed, but i guess i'm just dealing with it in a better way .. we've been acting like friends which is nice and takes away the awkwardness .. last night he came over for about an hour or so and just talked about the same things we talked about the night before on the phone .. i could have easily gave my bitchy opinion, but i took my feelings and emotions out of it and just tried to be a genuine friend that he can trust and come to when he needs something ..

as hard as i thought that'd be, i think it's actually helping me to kind of tell him to find him self and be strong .. it somewhat validates what i'm trying to convince myself to do .. it makes me feel good that he feels comfortable enough and trusts me enough to come to me, even if it is about another girl .. even though that seems like it'd be awkward, it does make me feel like he values my opinion in a way ..

tonight he texted me and said please pray for me .. he said he wasn't comfortable telling me what it was right now, but he'd tell me eventually .. and that as of right now, just to kind of a say a little prayer .. he wouldn't give me the slightest hint about anything that it was, which is probably one of the worst punishments for me! haha .. he said he hadn't said anything to anyone else, but idk if that includes her or not .. if the situation is about her or just has to do with what has been going on between them :/ .. my mind is honestly going a million miles a minute .. does he want me to pray that he can be with her? to make her want him? to make him not feel like he does anymore? i have no idea what to think .. but again, idk why but he said he only said something to me .. why me? hmm ..

and during that conversation that lasted probably about 45 minutes, it was friendly and joking and he didn't seem as sad as he has been .. does this have to do with what he wants me to pray for him about? is he happy cause things are working with her? it's just soo confusing ..