this past weekend was something i've needed for a while now .. on friday, i went down to the camp i am a counselor at in the summer .. we fixed up some of the cabins and helped with maintenance issues throughout the camp to help out the year-round 4-h staff .. after leaving immediately after class on my marathon fridays, it was nice to see a bunch of friends and catch up .. i get some kind of sense of calm and self when i'm at that place, which i know i've needed lately .. i've been looking forward to this weekend just to clear my mind and try to get back to myself and God ..
last night, we stayed at my cousin's house in Morgantown .. his one roommate is very cute, and i've had a slight crush on him since around september .. at the time, he had a girlfriend, but they've since broken up .. in fact, he was the one that invited me over, not my cousin haha .. i guess they all had a late night the night before so everyone went to bed around eleven or twelve .. so that left us two just sitting there .. i didn't want it to be awkward or him feel obligated to be nice to me or anything ..
after a while, we were just joking and laughing and having a good time .. it was easy to talk to each other .. we honestly played like 20 questions haha .. we talked about stuff that was common to random as crap .. and some things that you wouldn't normally just talk about for fun .. we both are shy at first, so were trying to pull out of the other what they thought about us haha .. we both are attracted to each other, but really don't know what to do from that .. he's at school in Fairmont and is graduating in December .. i said something about i'm the one that's always saying let's hang out .. he said something about when he'd be home after finals, and asked if i'd like to do something like see movie or something .. i'm excited =)
he's also an over analyzer like myself haha .. so it was funny to try to gauge where we thought the other person's mind was .. i was going to sleep on one of the many couches in their living room, but he blew up an air mattress .. i asked why he didnt go back to his room and he didnt really answer .. i was still going to sleep on the couch and not be rude and invite myself onto the mattress .. after saying goodnight, he was randomly just like, 'do you want to cuddle' .. i kind of chuckled and joked about how 'smooth' he was about it .. he laughed and said that there's just somethings he doesn't know how to say lol .. then, was like, 'so you didn't answer my question' and i giggled more and said,'sure i dont care' .. of course i wanted too, but i was just caught off guard .. he made a point to say he wasn't going to try anything lol, which i would never think he would anyways because he's too respectful ..
i was just saying to my friend that went with me this weekend, i'm not looking for a hookup or a serious relationship, i just want to cuddle or have someone want to be around me .. it was so nice to semi feel that .. and it wasn't just some random person .. we talked until 6:30 this morning, when i finally was like 'i have to get some sleep' .. i don't want to think too ahead of anything, but i really enjoyed myself .. he's a very respectful guy, and we talked on many many different levels .. this weekend is just something i needed to help me through the rest of this semester .. now on to the piles of homework!!!
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